As Some of you know well most who actually read when i post will know that i have been singel for a little while now, with the exception when i was seeing a man that i had met on Twitter, that whilst it was good at the time was oh so wrong, the man in question was using me for his own ego boosting reasons but he also hurt me too.. but i have put that behind me and now back on twitter..
Yes i am a changed person, I am not needy, i am just a single mum who has got so many nice virtual friends but also made some very real friends who i have met or are due to meet.. Yes its sad that i do find the likes of places like Twitter a place to have friends instead of getting out in the world and meeting new people, but the truth in the matter is that it is so damn hard when you have kids of 2 different ages, one of whom hardly sees his dad and likes to say here with me, and the little one does see dad I still have the other one here.. I am not one of these women who drinks vast quantites of alcohol so i dont feel the need to drink wine at home ect, but i will take my kids out for a meal at a family pub so we get to see different surroundings..
But also I find that any friends we did have (joint friends) have either decided to stop contact or they are supporting my ex as he is a man on his own who cannont cook ect so they are looking out for him,, Yes i feel alone at times.. but i also know that the people who are about me do care but they are also busy with there own lives... which is totally understable..
The thing also are the situation i am in,, due to no marriage ect I had no entitlement to house with ex as it was his, I find myslef in the world of Benefits for the first time in my life,, yes its money, yes its a way for now,, but I can't also see a way out of it, and i feel as a mum i should do what i can for my kids to have a secure home life,, I know they do really and i am worrying about stuff beyond my control,, but it shows i care. But also I am going to try and enjoy being Me for a while and who knows whats round the next corner