Evening everyone, I know i haven't updated in a little while but I thought I would tell you all about this great internet radio that i fell over on Twitter about 4 months or so back. Its called 2nd City Radio and you can access it Here and is DJ'd by the lovely Chris Phillips from Birmingham. If you take a look in the week days you can hear him Live Tuesday to Friday from 9pm till 11pm. Saturday 2pm Till 4pm and Sunday from 8pm till 9pm Followed by Mandy P on Sunday evening,,
I love the show and log on when i can, but please don't just take my word for it go and listen for yourself. If you go now you can catch the afternoons show recorded.. you can Listen on your PC with also Ipad and Ipod Via Mixlir..
Saturday, February 18
Saturday, February 11
New Start
What can i say really, its a new start, new approach to life for me. Me and the boys moved into out new house well not really new its a old council house rented of course, but we have been in it 2 weeks today,. And already it feels like home, ok i do need to get some curtains up but its no real big issue,
Charlie also turned 17 on the 7th and boy what a man he is now, as yet we have not booked any driving lessons yet but we will do very soon, and god there so expensive,, not really sure how his birthday went as he now has single parents but it went ok I think.
Josh is also doing ok, a bit of a monkey at times but it must be hard for a 5 year old to take on board that your parents no longer live together.. He is doing very well at school his reading is comming on in leaps and bonds.
As from Monday its school holidays for a week so not sure what were going to do, but i would like to take them both to see the New Muppet movie at the cinema next week
Charlie also turned 17 on the 7th and boy what a man he is now, as yet we have not booked any driving lessons yet but we will do very soon, and god there so expensive,, not really sure how his birthday went as he now has single parents but it went ok I think.
Josh is also doing ok, a bit of a monkey at times but it must be hard for a 5 year old to take on board that your parents no longer live together.. He is doing very well at school his reading is comming on in leaps and bonds.
As from Monday its school holidays for a week so not sure what were going to do, but i would like to take them both to see the New Muppet movie at the cinema next week
Wednesday, January 25
For Those who do and dont know
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BOYS FATHER IS OVER AND I AM MOVING OUT ON SUNDAY TO A DIFFERENT HOME,
yes its been a long time in comming but after all my CBT Therapy helping me see things very different and certain things happening in home life both My Parter of 26 years and I decided to call it a day, this time round it was his suggestion that things were wrong and him feeling trapped ect ect ect but if it had not come from him it would have come from me again but his never listened to who knows so from now on it's about me and my boys..
I am in the middle of packing and move on Sunday, yes its going to be very different from what i am used to but i am sure the boys and I will get there..
I will update when I am up and running in the rented house
yes its been a long time in comming but after all my CBT Therapy helping me see things very different and certain things happening in home life both My Parter of 26 years and I decided to call it a day, this time round it was his suggestion that things were wrong and him feeling trapped ect ect ect but if it had not come from him it would have come from me again but his never listened to who knows so from now on it's about me and my boys..
I am in the middle of packing and move on Sunday, yes its going to be very different from what i am used to but i am sure the boys and I will get there..
I will update when I am up and running in the rented house
Wednesday, October 26
I just love Twitter, I did join up some years ago but never really got into it, but as FB (Facebook) seems to be dying a slow and painful death i have returned to twitter,, and it's great, i know i do have some lovely friends who have found some stuff i say a little shocking if not very tarty, but I can be me, and most of the people there are total strangers who follow me and i follow back.. and No one juges me for the things i say, there is a side to me that has been hidden for many years and since therapy i have chilled and relaxed a little.. Does it matter if i get my boobs out for Charity, or tweet to some very handsome men or very pretty ladies and have a great laugh.. there is no reason why i should think about what others think about the stuff i write,, so for now i will just carry on being me as i like it.. if you want to follow me then go here and add me
A difference in me
well not sure what's happened to me really, but i feel really good and very positive that i can shake this negative side away.. I have so much more confidence which is really good, i mean i could never strike up a conversation with a total stranger, but i have done a few times now and it feels good, i am loosing more weight which is great as it just makes me feel better and better about Me, and No one has the right to tell me that i look fat etc, in fact i know that i am pretty and sexy and its just starting to sink into my brain.. and i am beginning to accept it.. But it's taken time:)
Tuesday, October 18
More Positive Posting
Charlie is settling well into College life, he was working with sheep today, mind you he was nervous this morning about doing it, as he has never worked with any farm animals at all, but it moved sheep from one field to another, helped shave sheeps bums and tails to keep them clean from flies, got to play with a sheep dog, and loving it, previous days his done some tractor driving, and welding.. so fingers crossed he continues to settle into this course well..
Josh on a lighter note is a cheeky little boys, whos always answering me back, frowning just like his dad, and telling me that god has the whole world in his hands, by this i mean the hymm
1. He´s got the whole world in His hands,
|: He´s got the whole world in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
2. He´s got the wind and the rain in His hands,
|: He´s got the wind and the rain in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
3. He´s got the the tiny little baby in His hands,
|: He´s got the the tiny little baby in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
4. He´s got you and me, brother, in His hands,
|: He´s got you and me, brother, in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
5. He's got ev'rybody here in His hands.
|: He's got ev'rybody here in His hands. :|
He's got the whole world in His hands.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. He´s got the whole world in His hands,
|: He´s got the whole world in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
He's got the earth and sky in his hands;
He's got the night and day in his hands;
He's got the sun and moon in his hands;
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
2. He´s got the whole world in His hands,
|: He´s got the whole world in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
He's got the land and sea in his hands;
He's got the wind and rain in his hands;
He's got the spring and fall in his hands;
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
3. He´s got the whole world in His hands,
|: He´s got the whole world in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
He's got the young and old in his hands;
He's got the rich and poor in his hands;
Yes, he's got ev'ry one in his hands;
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
He´s got the whole world in His hands,
|: He´s got the whole world in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
so no guesses as to what has been stuck in my head all afternoon and evening..
Josh on a lighter note is a cheeky little boys, whos always answering me back, frowning just like his dad, and telling me that god has the whole world in his hands, by this i mean the hymm
1. He´s got the whole world in His hands,
|: He´s got the whole world in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
2. He´s got the wind and the rain in His hands,
|: He´s got the wind and the rain in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
3. He´s got the the tiny little baby in His hands,
|: He´s got the the tiny little baby in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
4. He´s got you and me, brother, in His hands,
|: He´s got you and me, brother, in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
5. He's got ev'rybody here in His hands.
|: He's got ev'rybody here in His hands. :|
He's got the whole world in His hands.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. He´s got the whole world in His hands,
|: He´s got the whole world in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
He's got the earth and sky in his hands;
He's got the night and day in his hands;
He's got the sun and moon in his hands;
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
2. He´s got the whole world in His hands,
|: He´s got the whole world in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
He's got the land and sea in his hands;
He's got the wind and rain in his hands;
He's got the spring and fall in his hands;
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
3. He´s got the whole world in His hands,
|: He´s got the whole world in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
He's got the young and old in his hands;
He's got the rich and poor in his hands;
Yes, he's got ev'ry one in his hands;
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
He´s got the whole world in His hands,
|: He´s got the whole world in His hands, :|
He´s got the whole world in His hands.
so no guesses as to what has been stuck in my head all afternoon and evening..
Reumination
ok its a long word for me and one i didn't understand until a couple of weeks ago, see what Wikipedia says here .. its basically where you go over and over things in a vicious circle in your head most of which are all negative emotions.
Since my CBT sessions started about 6-7 weeks ago but been 5 times and 1 phone call i have learnt over the years i have become a habitual ruminator.. It's a horrid thing to have, but can be made worse in certian situations, I know for many years that i have kinda been unhappy but never really knew why, put it down to lots of things to do with me or my partner, but a series of events in my Child hood has lead to my future of most things being negative and mostly my fault.
I have been living with this great guy and I know he is, for the past 26 years, I met him when i was 15 and he was 17, were been engaged 22 years now, but we have ended up in circles countless times.
we have blamed it on all sorts of things even having a son born with CHD, partner building a home, outside factors with family members all sorts, but with me having my panic attack at the drs lots has come out, mostly my past but i do have this negativity now in the present and i dont want it in my furture..
Now this man i live with, his a typical country lad, worked on a farm since he was 14, but his Childhood was far far worse than mine, parents split up when he was 18 months old, his sisters 6-7 years older than him were the care givers as mum worked, so any loving he got was sisterly love, never motherly or father, and never experience partental love like seeing his parents cuddle like I did, his father was also a bad man but wont bput on here why.. so as a result this lad i live with has issues, and is emotionless, tactless when is comes to talking as he cannot and wont open up, wont tell me much at all.. but recently we did have a talk i needed some reassuance that were were ok, this happens when you have a negative mind, but when you don't get the reassuance it gets upsetting, its not his fault or mine, but between him being tactless in saying things how he feels, and me jumping to conculsions i had it in my head that he wanted our relationship to end., Although he never said that at all thats my mind jumping to the conclusion and this circulating my mind in a spiral.. I am being taught different mind games of distraction like doing something else, breathing excercises, listening to music to focus the mind,..
But after speaking with theapist yesterday she reassured me that although us talking did not actually reach any conclusion about us safe in our relationship, he does love me in his own way he can show even if it appears cold to me he does love me and struggles to show it, but he opened up that he has deep issue that he may need to talk to someone about.. I want to help him as i think if he address's his issues as well as me, then i think we can move on a little better, but i am not allowed to be pushy, all i can do is say to him maybe in a few weeks time (as he as only addressed his issues) that i have a number he can use to do a self referal, thus bypassing any dr, but for now i will continue with my therapy and talking, also my mind altering thoughts this may help my partner too, his willing to listen which is good and the therapist say's that my partners wants me to carry on talking, yes its going to be hard some days but it will get better i am sure..
Since my CBT sessions started about 6-7 weeks ago but been 5 times and 1 phone call i have learnt over the years i have become a habitual ruminator.. It's a horrid thing to have, but can be made worse in certian situations, I know for many years that i have kinda been unhappy but never really knew why, put it down to lots of things to do with me or my partner, but a series of events in my Child hood has lead to my future of most things being negative and mostly my fault.
I have been living with this great guy and I know he is, for the past 26 years, I met him when i was 15 and he was 17, were been engaged 22 years now, but we have ended up in circles countless times.
we have blamed it on all sorts of things even having a son born with CHD, partner building a home, outside factors with family members all sorts, but with me having my panic attack at the drs lots has come out, mostly my past but i do have this negativity now in the present and i dont want it in my furture..
Now this man i live with, his a typical country lad, worked on a farm since he was 14, but his Childhood was far far worse than mine, parents split up when he was 18 months old, his sisters 6-7 years older than him were the care givers as mum worked, so any loving he got was sisterly love, never motherly or father, and never experience partental love like seeing his parents cuddle like I did, his father was also a bad man but wont bput on here why.. so as a result this lad i live with has issues, and is emotionless, tactless when is comes to talking as he cannot and wont open up, wont tell me much at all.. but recently we did have a talk i needed some reassuance that were were ok, this happens when you have a negative mind, but when you don't get the reassuance it gets upsetting, its not his fault or mine, but between him being tactless in saying things how he feels, and me jumping to conculsions i had it in my head that he wanted our relationship to end., Although he never said that at all thats my mind jumping to the conclusion and this circulating my mind in a spiral.. I am being taught different mind games of distraction like doing something else, breathing excercises, listening to music to focus the mind,..
But after speaking with theapist yesterday she reassured me that although us talking did not actually reach any conclusion about us safe in our relationship, he does love me in his own way he can show even if it appears cold to me he does love me and struggles to show it, but he opened up that he has deep issue that he may need to talk to someone about.. I want to help him as i think if he address's his issues as well as me, then i think we can move on a little better, but i am not allowed to be pushy, all i can do is say to him maybe in a few weeks time (as he as only addressed his issues) that i have a number he can use to do a self referal, thus bypassing any dr, but for now i will continue with my therapy and talking, also my mind altering thoughts this may help my partner too, his willing to listen which is good and the therapist say's that my partners wants me to carry on talking, yes its going to be hard some days but it will get better i am sure..
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